Is It Me? Is It Them? Is This the Dating Apocalypse?

Let’s start with this:

I did not think I’d be downloading a dating app at 40. Yet here I am, staring at my screen, thumb hovering over Bumble, wondering if it would unearth a soulmate or summon the ghosts of frat boys past.

Spoiler alert:
It summoned a man who listed “crypto” and “alpha energy” as personality traits. We’re off to a strong start.

The men are… something.

I don’t mean to be cynical (okay, I do), but dating in 2025 feels like auditioning for a role I never asked to play, nor was I prepared for.

I’ve swiped left on:

• A man who wanted a “situationship”. I mean, at least he was honest about his intentions.

• Another who put "It doesn't matter" in their occupation. It does. TLC's No Scrubs is the cheat code we all need to heed.

• And my personal favourite: AI-generated profile pictures. Ermm, sir, way to try and catfish and further feed into my distrust of men on dating apps.

Honestly? I’m suspicious of the whole lot.

If they seem too smooth, I assume they’re married or just want one thing. If they message too fast, I wonder what they're running from. If they say “good morning, beautiful” too soon… I ghost.
(I know. Therapy is aware.)

But beneath the sarcasm and the pre-screening questions I mentally ask (Do you go to therapy? Do you have the same values? Are you emotionally available or just lonely?) ... there’s this scared, tired part of me that wonders, Am I even ready for this?

Do I actually want to date? Or do I just want to feel wanted again? Is my fear of getting hurt again louder than my hope? There are days I swipe and laugh. Days I delete the apps and swear off men forever. And nights where I miss being held so much, I question if I made it all up: the pain, the distance, the betrayal.

But I didn’t. I know that. My therapist (bless his heart) reminds me weekly.

Still, I try because maybe love isn’t dead. Maybe it’s just hiding behind a really bad profile picture and a few emotionally stunted years. Maybe he’s out there… filling out his profile honestly and putting “available for real connection” instead of “DM me on Snapchat”.

Until then, I’ll keep swiping, I guess, but I am going to keep side-eyeing and yes, all this while I heal.

I mean, how hard is this going to be? I'm not looking for a unicorn, right?

Name: Emotionally Available Eric

Age: Doesn’t lie about it
Height: Tall enough to reach my emotional depth
Job: Something legal, ethical, and doesn’t require him to “network” with women in bikinis.
Kids: Cool if you have them. Cooler if you show up for them.
Therapy: Weekly. Voluntarily. Loves it.
Hobbies: Communicating. Apologising correctly. Reading between the lines without making it about him.
Turn-ons: Respect, consistency, and not referring to his ex as “crazy.”
Looking for: A grown-ass woman who knows what she wants and isn’t here to mother you or audition for a situationship.